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The Cookie Karma Fairy Got Me Back

Don't Throw Cookies at Your Friends


It’s been 1 year, 1 month, and 11 days since I threw cookies at my friend and told her that her Christmas cookies were like hockey pucks; she didn’t think my little joke was as funny as I did and I forgot about the incident entirely until the cookie karma fairy got me back earlier this week.


I was having a PMS craving for chocolate that had to be satisfied no matter what. Instead of grabbing a few M & M’s and shoving them in my mouth unceremoniously, I baked some chocolate chip cookies. I’m not a fan of pre-made chocolate chip cookie dough—the dough tastes kind of chemically and over-processed to me—and I always use the recipe for Nestle Tollhouse Cookies and usually have great results.


I used the Baker’s Chocolate Chips this time; I made the dough, left it sitting for several hours while I went shopping, came back, and baked the cookies—they turned out awful. The first batch of cookies spread out across the entire baking sheet into one big, gooey mess of melted chocolate chips and half-baked cookie dough. El Chef was eager to help like usual and quickly pointed out that maybe the cookies needed more baking, so I put them in the oven for another four minutes.


It didn’t help.


The next batch of chocolate chip cookies was exactly the same. The cookies were all stuck together and were less than ½ centimeter thin. The chocolate chips were much too melted and the dough was much too raw. The cookies were a disaster.


 I know that I am not the best of cooks, but I have been baking chocolate chip cookies since I was in fourth grade and my cookies never turn out this bad. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating the severity of the situation—the cookies have been sitting on the counter all week long in their glommy state because neither El Chef or I will do anything more than nibble on the edges of the cookies. I’m currently debating whether to throw the cookies out or give them to a street person. (Although I highly doubt they would taste any better to a street person.)


The worst part is that I can’t figure out what I did wrong. At first, I thought that I had the cookies on the wrong rack, but the next batch turned out the exact same, even after I moved the cookies to a higher rack. Could leaving the cookie dough out on the counter ruined my dough or is it really just a case of the cookie karma fairy getting me back?