The cook insisted. It was my turn to make breakfast and I was not allowed to cook my specialty: lumpy pancakes. I asked if I could just make a smoothie instead of a big breakfast. The answer came in the form of an extremely grumpy face.

“No.”

No smoothies, no pancakes. What could I do? I looked in the refrigerator and found eggs, tortillas, red peppers, and chorizo. It was time to make a Mexican breakfast.  I needed assistance in the form of clear instructions- I’ve cooked sausage before, but have never attempted Mexican chorizo.

Step one: Unwrap the chorizo. To perform this arduous task, I used my kitchen scissors to cut the strings between the sausage links and then squeezed the sausage so that the meat would plop out. (Any sexual innuendos you found here are obviously unintended.)

Step two: Put the chorizo in a cast iron skillet on medium high heat with a little oil. I used a metal spatula and took enormous pleasure and a modicum of joy in squishing the meat. A shout from another room alerted me to the possibility that perhaps I might want to put an apron on to avoid grease splashes.

Step three: Chop and saute the red peppers. I sauteed them on medium heat with a little olive oil as the chorizo fried up on the next burner.

Step four: Panic about how to drain the olive oil from the red peppers after they were sauteing.  I took out the peppers, put the hot olive oil in with the chorizo, and started scrambling the eggs.

Step five: Drain the grease from the chorizo. My attempt resulted in all of the grease landing in the sink, and as a special bonus, a tenth of the meat landed there as well. Oops.

Step six: Panic again because the tortillas are not on the tortilla-warmer. I grabbed two tortillas and put them on the back burner.

Step seven: Mix the eggs in with chorizo. Put in the red peppers in with the chorizo. Get bitched out a little for not adding in onions because they, “bring out the flavor of the chorizo.”

Step eight: Microwave a small bowl of pinto beans. No explanation necessary.

Step nine: Run around kitchen hurriedly to set the table and serve the food.

The Verdict: Not without pain, and not without the loss of a little bit of meat, I actually put together a great breakfast for two people on my first attempt. I’ve cooked similar meals before, but the big difference is how the chorizo mixes with the eggs compared to other meats. The eggs are best with some hot sauce.

Pic from Flckr